Happiness is a state of mind

So I just found out there are more granular maps available at World66 for the US, Canada and Europe. The pic above of the five US states I've visited is good, but the European map is a bit disappointing since it doesn't show borders. Here's mine.

I'm a country member

Well, I've found a reason to blog again, which I'll get around to actually blogging about soon. In the meantime, see above for a visual résumé of my worldly exploits courtesy of this very cool little webapp at World 66. You can save either the resulting GIF picture, or a link which encodes your travelling conquests.

It's a nice idea done well, but it could do with some improvement in granularity. Visiting 5 states of the US has convinced me that it's a bit like a large collection of countries - certainly in size as the map shows. There's a lot of red there I haven't visited yet, like Alaska. The same could be said for Australia I suppose.

Anyway, friends reading this, feel free to leave a comment with a link to your map. I'm pretty sure Zeal will be hard to beat. Here's what you should put in your comment: copy the example below, but replace "USATBECZFRDEGRNLCHUKIDJPPHTWTHAUFJNZ" with the similar stream of letters from the text box you see below your map on World66.

Note: I've broken the example up to make it more readable here, but there should be NO spaces or line-breaks inside the link. That's the bit inside quotation marks: "http://..."

Example:
My map is <a href="http://www.world66.com/
myworld66/visitedCountries/worldmap?visited=
USATBECZFRDEGRNLCHUKIDJPPHTWTHAUFJNZ">
here</a>.

The comment will show as:
My map is here.

Only the good die young

Something stopped me in my tracks there for a while, and it's time to blog about it and try to move on. On March 22nd, shortly before visiting NZ for the first time in 3 years, I was informed that my good friend Jeremy Morrison had taken his own life. This was a heavy blow; one that affected me profoundly, and one I don't think I'll ever completely get over. Of course I was and am still heartbroken for his fiancee Mia, and all his other friends who were affected by this tragedy. There's so much I could write, would like to write, but on this topic I agonize over every word, so I'll just have to bluff my way through it. There's a lesson to be learned if you can get to the end of this ineloquent ramble ...

The above photo of Jeremy and his fiancee Mia has been in my digital camera since 22nd April 2003, 3 days before I left NZ for Japan. As I slowly removed older photos to make room for the new ones I took, this photo was one of the few reminders of all the friends and family that I had left behind. Unfortunately, Jeremy didn't know about this, and it's to my great regret that when I talked to him a week before he died, I didn't tell him how much I was looking forward to seeing him and Mia again upon my imminent return.

I first met Jeremy when he was DJing at a friend's birthday party early in 2000. He was a quiet guy, so I was the one to strike up our conversation about the future of music. Vinyl, I proclaimed, was history, and digital music (MP3 etc) the future. Jeremy begged to differ, of course, and yet a few months later there he was: unleashing a Big Beat and Drum'n'Bass set at my 30th birthday party mostly via MP3s mixed by computer. In fact he proceeded to freak me out by selling his turntables and all his records, saying he didn't need them! I agreed to finance a PC for him, and my buddy Sean and I helped him spec it and put it together. Jeremy was a talented guy - persistent, and a quick learner. Soon he was mixing just as well on a PC as he did on decks. He was also naturally athletic, and we started hitting the gym together a couple of times a week. Our last workout was shortly before I left for Japan a couple of years later.

Being gym buddies breeds a special friendship. Apart from being a somewhat social activity, there's a closeness that springs from becoming more aware of someone's body through exercise - how they use it, what their strengths and weaknesses are. Working out is positive and progressive. It's about enjoying life, and the effort to improve ourselves. For three years in Japan I went to the gym alone twice a week or so, and missed my gym buddy Jeremy. The image of him that lives in my head is still the young, strong, enthusiastic young man that he was. I didn't have the chance to go to his funeral and grieve. I still see his smile, hear his laugh, feel his concern and kindness, always placing others before himself. And so now, I go to the gym alone twice a week or so, and there's a hole in my heart.

After the gym we would eat together and chat. Other times too, but usually this was when I would find out how Jeremy was really doing. His life was no cake-walk, and I felt privileged that he was comfortable confiding in me when things were tough. But with hearing hard things comes saying hard things. If you know someone well, after a while you'll know if things are tough for them - no matter what spin they put on it - by the coping strategies they fall back on to make themselves feel better. If you see someone heading down the wrong path, you need to be prepared to express your disapproval in a supportive way. It's not about telling someone how to live their life. If they respect you, your opinion will matter, explicitly voiced or not.

I wish I could berate him now about how much he has disappointed me and the others who loved him. And even more - so much that it hurts - I wish I could see the man he was becoming, his potential realized, his love fulfilled. He gave so much, deserved so much, and some of us gave back all we could. But he threw it all away, and that betrayal is hard to forgive.

Light Entertainment

Ok, here's another one from last year. Still catching up!

This being a family friendly area (read: breeding ground) there's always something going on to occupy the kiddies, and give mum and dad a chance to relax. Back in October, before winter caught us in its current icy grip, there was a flower 'painting' exhibition.

All the images were interpretations from a book by a Japanese artist. All the coloured areas were either flower petals or coloured sand. Digital cameras don't capture colour well in low light, so you'll have to trust me when I say it looked better than in this photo.

Additionally, all the trees and bushes had lights in their hair, and a large set of light 'sculptures' were erected in the outdoor gardens and entertainment area of the Toriton complex. Some days they had clowns, some nights they had live music.

It's quietened down a bit for winter now, but the lights are still on. It's not traditional Japan, but certainly there are drabber and less interesting parts of Tokyo to live in!

The Ceremony (14/14)

Here are all the friends who helped us to celebrate the day. Thank you all for coming, and best wishes for the New Year!

The Ceremony (13/14)

A new family!

The Ceremony (12/14)

What can I say? Married!

The Ceremony (11/14)

My ring was a tight fit! After this the musicians played to a traditional dance, and both families drank sake together.

The Ceremony (10/14)

Virgins! Well, they're supposed to be. And I hope they were - considering what we paid!

The Ceremony (9/14)

Usually only the groom reads the "chikai no kotoba" (oath), but we had decided that Satoko would read an English translation after me. The shrine provided us with several versions. The original in kanji (Chinese characters) had furigana (pronunciation characters) alongside because even native Japanese might not know some of the old kanji used.

There was a romaji (roman alphabet) transliteration - but reading Japanese written in romaji is actually harder for me than reading hiragana (phonetic script). So hiragana it was, though I still made a couple of mistakes. Satoko did well with the English version - tweaked from the flawed translation they had given us.

The Ceremony (8/14)

Next we walked out into the heat of the day, and stood in front of the alter. I'm glad it didn't rain, but 30 degrees is hot when wearing a black kimono! The priest (in green) was sweating more than I was though.

Friends invited to the ceremony are seated just offscreen to the left, and to the right on the stage you can see a few of the musicians.

The Ceremony (7/14)

The dangers of drink! After Satoko's last sip of sake, we were considered married - the rest of the ceremony being a mere formality.

The Ceremony (6/14)

The ceremony began with lots of bowing, while a priest invoked blessings. Dad was able to sneak a few forbidden videos - better than some of the official (and expensive) footage shot by the "shrine photographers".

The Ceremony (5/14)

Satoko and I led the procession to the keidai (inner shrine). The umbrella is to protect the bride from the sun, and red is a lucky color.

The Ceremony (4/14)

One last goodbye ... In Japan the girl joins the boy's family! On the right is Satoko's sister, Kyoko.

The Ceremony (3/14)

The room divider rolled back to allow us to introduce the families for the first time! The fish-eye effect here actually conveys how unreal this was!

The Ceremony (2/14)

I joined my parents in the hikaishitsu (antechamber), where a divider - behind us in the photo - separated us from Satoko's family. They had never met before, until ...

The Ceremony (1/14)

Well, I better post these wedding photos before the year is out!

The shrine gave us the negatives, but with multiple cameras (and lenses - apologies for the fish-eye shots) it was a bit of a chore to sort them into chronological order. I had to leave out some great ones in order to make the task of showing each phase of the ceremony manageable.

Anyway, there are still 14 photos, so I'll just add a few snippets of text. We arrived at the shrine around 7:30am. It took about one and a half hours to get Satoko ready, and then we popped out for a quick photo. The white hood is supposed to hide the female horns that disappear after marriage!

Born Free

Ok, I missed a month. I had hoped that wasn't going to happen, but PWSD (Post-Wedding Slackness Disorder) and a generalised winter malaise have kept me busy with other things - like catching up with "Lost".

There are wedding pics available now that I really should post, but I need to sort them first. And since I've already taken a topic break to report on the birth of my nephew Leo (who's doing fine, BTW) I thought I'd report on another little loved one who I've been missing.

Yep, my little orange buddy Eric. Sorry for any dog-lovers reading, but "man's best friend" is over-rated, IMHO. ;-) Sure dogs are more consistently social and interactive. But when you're taking a nap, and a cat decides the best place in the whole house to sleep is right on top of _your _ nap, it feels pretty special.

Anyway, Eric was recently relocated from the house where he grew up to my parents' new place, and despite my worries about the transfer, he seems to be thriving. He's not 'fat' thriving! That's just the camera angle. What I mean is he hasn't run away yet or been put on Prozac.

Amongst all the friends and family I miss back home, Eric's up there near the top of the list. I can't wait to give him a cuddle when I finally visit NZ in 2006 (sometime) for my sister Sophie's wedding. More pics soon ...

Son of Garageland

I can now proudly and officially claim the title "Uncle Nick". My sister Sophie gave birth early this morning to a healthy baby boy, Leo Eade, held by his father Jeremy in the photo above. I'm thrilled for both of them - Sophie has been waiting for this her whole life.

Time to go all acoustic and folksy, eh Jeremy? ;-)